# The Cost of Quiet

Canonical: https://www.bookquiver.com/colette-jane-fehr/the-cost-of-quiet/9781035424382

![The Cost of Quiet](https://quivercdn.com/covers/headline-home/colette-jane-fehr/the-cost-of-quiet_978-10-3542-438-2.jpg?v=2026-04-29%2000%3A15%3A23)

- Book: [The Cost of Quiet](https://www.bookquiver.com/colette-jane-fehr/the-cost-of-quiet) ([The Cost of Quiet.md](https://www.bookquiver.com/colette-jane-fehr/the-cost-of-quiet.md))
- Authors: [Colette Jane Fehr](https://www.bookquiver.com/colette-jane-fehr)
- Publisher: headline_home
- Medium: audio
- ISBN: 978-10-3542-438-2
- Published: 2026-02-03
- Language: en_GB
- Binding: Audiobook

## Description

An empowering, healing guide that reveals the true cost of avoidant behaviour in a relationship - disconnection, disengagement, and divorce - and shows how we can instead learn to speak up and start connecting with the ones we love most. 'I wish I had spoken up sooner.' People think relationships fail because of deal breakers like infidelity, finances, or parenting problems. But the real culprit is often much less dramatic: emotional disconnection after years of staying silent and avoiding conflict. We're afraid to say what we need because we worry about what will come next. Avoidant behaviour - the need to 'keep the peace' rather than dealing with conflict head on - isn't our fault. Our ingrained attachment wiring urges us to sidestep day-to-day disputes and brush lingering problems under the rug. But silence is a losing proposition in the long term, leading us to self-abandon and essentially 'quiet quit' our relationships. We can make another choice. In The Cost of Quiet, licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr shines a light on the epidemic of avoidant behaviour and how to overcome it. Drawing from the latest attachment science and evidence-based therapies she's used to repair the bond between hundreds of couples, Fehr gives us the tools to approach those we love with openness, honesty and vulnerability. The ultimate goal: a securely attached relationship that engages with conflict productively, and the confidence that comes from speaking up and being heard - because a good relationship is worth fighting for.