Spike Milligan: Man of Letters

Dear Cameron [President of the Cambridge Union], Thank you for your letter of 10th January. I would be useless at this debate primarily because I have been dead for 24 years now. Apart from that, I hate scientists and I hate artists. In fact, I hate everybody including you, do tell them that is why I'm not at the debate. Can the whole university please stand on the hour of midnight and think of me, it might cure my haemorrhoids, you never know. Sincerely, Spike Milligan