The Marriage Dictionary

A great Valentine's Day gift! Whether you've been married for years or months, you'll enjoy this hilarious look at what marriage really means. Amnesia: Unusual medical condition that often afflicts husbands the day after a night out drinking and carousing with " the boys." Athlete's foot: The only part of your husband that is still truly athletic. Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom. (See Pantyhose.) Closet: 1. Storage areas in your new home that will be divided on an " as needed" basis: 93 percent for you, 7 percent for your husband. 2. What your cousin Blaine from San Francisco will come out of, in front of 250 startled guests at your wedding reception, after drinking two bottles of champagne and telling the minister he has a cute " tushy." Off-white: The color of the dress your mother-in-law suggests you ought to be wearing at your wedding