Notes to My Future Husband

Who is the Most Hilarious Bitch Around? Meet The Coquette, the insanely popular advice columist for The Daily. Smirking but never cynical, she's a bad-ass with her own ideas about what it means to be a wife and what it takes to be a husband. Notes to My Future Husband is a modern woman's collection of tips on life, love, and everything in between. Based on the blog named one of the " funniest ever" by the New York Observer, this book is perfect for any seriously awesome bithch-or the man who loves her. Cold Cuts: If we have ham and you leave less than three slices in the package, you should just stab me in my sleep. What am I supposed to do with less than three pieces of ham? Dry my tears? Obey: The word that will be conspicuously missing from our wedding vows. I promise: to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath. We're going to make a lot of parenting mistakes: Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them. Your job: I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f***'in live in a box, it's fine.